Church Parking Lot Sign..."FOR MEMBERS ONLY. Trespassers will be baptized."
"Free Trip to heaven...details Inside!"
"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"
A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance,the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "Resurrection is postponed".
"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"
"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives."
"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."
"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."
"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" (U R)
"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."
"Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."
"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. talk to the Shepherd.
"The best vitamin for a Christian is B1."
"Under same management for over 2000 years."
"Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk!"
"You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving."
"Beat the Christmas rush, come to church this Sunday!"
"Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church."
"Reputation is what people think about you. Character is what people know you are."
"Come early for a good back-seat."
"Life has many choices, eternity has two. What's yours?"
"Wal-Mart isn't the only saving place!"
"Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible."
"It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees."
